Tanisa Rahman
Words from the Author:
“When I was a kid, I longed to grow up. To be independent, and to provide for my parents like they have done for me. To place money in my dad's hands, to buy my mom expensive designer bags--the dream that I had to fulfill after my parents came to the United States to provide my siblings and I with a better life. Trying to grow up quickly, I copied my older sister's behaviors, did things that I shouldn't have, and shed many tears in the process. 6 years ago, I would've wanted to order a black coffee. But now, I'm happy with a chocolate mocha.”
Words from the Author:
“As a child, it always felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb, that I was missing out on so many trends others got to be apart of. I saw other children doing things that felt like a faraway wish to me: making slime, staying up late playing video games, and going on play dates with their friends. I whined when my South Asian mother took the glue out of my hands, turned the computer off, or shook her head to the countless invites I would receive. I used to tuck my pants in my shirt, wishing to fit in with the other children in my elementary school, until my dad asked me, "do you want to be a white boy?" It seemed silly that such a simple gesture like tucking in my pants would lead to such an egregious question, but as I grew older, I realized that what I was missing out on wasn't fitting in; but losing my culture in the guise of fitting in. The school bus driving away represents the feeling that I lost my childhood, when in reality, it's closer to me than I think.”
Words from the Author:
“My childhood is filled with the cheerful memories of feeding my brother, walks to the park, and drawing pictures with him in his wheelchair. My mother would hold those pictures up, smiling as she boasted about how smart I was to understand his situation. When my brother passed away, it felt as if my world was destroyed. It was my first time experiencing grief, when I was just 10 years old. Sometimes, I wonder what life would be like if I grew up alongside my older brother, watching the cave walls of light up with luminescence. I know that he would be happy watching me living life to the fullest, so I do. This truly is a glimpse of my life; that even in the dark, there is light.”
Words from the Author:
“As a kid, I felt bugged when the only time I got to spend with my family was at the same island we went to every other week. I wanted something more, to create adventurous memories I could brag about. To not watch the waves pass by, rather a quick horror flick at the movies. As I grew older, the time I was able to spend with my family got shorter and shorter, and those memories slowly became buried in the back of my mind. Today, I'd do anything to watch the cherry blossoms with my mom, at the very island I used to hate.”
Words from the Author:
“I’ve always wanted to understand my identity, to know who I was, and not just what I am. I didn't want to burden my hardworking parents with silly questions, but I was looking to fill that void that came with the confusion I felt. I slowly realized that it was okay to be confused, to not fully know who you are. Because everyone is different, and we’re constantly changing. In this way, this photograph reflects confusion: with the flashing lights and distorted image; it's what makes it beautiful. Those words, "it's what makes you beautiful", is what I wish someone had told me when I was stuck in place 6 years ago.”